I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
