I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
