guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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