never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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