no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize