how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
