She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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