Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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