I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
