that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
