As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You're like the curious george of whores
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No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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