I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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