this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
