I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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