i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
50% drunk capacity currently
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
