I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i came on her dog
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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