if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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