I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Randomize
