We won't sleep together?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
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