Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize