my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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