chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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