I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
