so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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