I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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