Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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