remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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