I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
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The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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