omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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