the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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