Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
false alarm, still single
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
