According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
