chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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