How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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