She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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