so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
