ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Couch. On fire.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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