We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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