I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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