In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
