If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize