Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
