Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
