she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
