Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
