you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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