You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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