i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
