yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
