can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
