Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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