Dual....:-)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
