i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Holy sore nipples Batman
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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