I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
