Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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