you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
