Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
