since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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