You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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