Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
