fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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